i can see clearly now...

Life has come to a screeching halt. Thankfully.
After months of madness and mayhem, the roller coaster that I dared not call a "life"
has finally slowed down to a blissful speed comparable to "old man walking dog."
Most of last week was spent still feeling bitter and jaded, and as much as I enjoy
being Italy's bureaucracy bitch, I have honestly had enough. The lawsuit is filed,
I will discover my fate shortly, and until then I am putting it out of my mind.
Sure, I still have to swallow back a bit of bile whenever I see the unis about, but what the hell can I do about
any of this? In a word...nothing. I can only sit back and wait, and the last thing I want to do
is waste another month of my life in useless pondering and regrets.
Thanks to Nicoletta, I regained a sense of self on Friday and have since felt worlds better.
I have been running consistently, eating right again, and I no longer feel like curling up into
the fetal position whenever someone mentions the city or my situation.
My health has unfortunately suffered some due to all this stress. I seem to have regressed to childhood since March,
battling ear infections, pink eye, and constant head colds. But I am hoping for a change in both spirit and
mind, and I can't but feel positive about the future. What would feeling negative accomplish at this point?
This said, I know I am a pessimist at heart and that grey days will come again. But I will try my best to
keep the devils at bay.
I have also been less than enthusiastic about work recently, I do admit, but that may also be the summer
coming on and us teachers naturally wanting to "shut off" our brains for 3 months. Though in my
specific line of education the work really never ceases, if we wanted to we could do this all year.
Still, I find myself in the best institute of my career. Nice people, I am both liked and appreciated, and
they pay above standard and on time which for Milano is a luxury. I consider myself lucky.
No other news to report for the moment. I just want to enjoy the sunshine which has finally graced us
with its presence, and get both some serious reading and writing done.