just lazying about

As usual it has been a tumultuous few weeks. I haven't written mainly because I have been in a
silent state of meditation. I didn't want to spend words that I would regret, nor did I
want to dwell too long on all the problems that I have been having.
The school year, as much it is so for us adult ESL teachers, has come quietly to an end.
July starts the month of little work and (salary) but lots of play. Most of my days in July and
August are passed at the park, reading lots of books, running, and basking in the sun.
After the year I have had, I deserve this break. My mind needs it, and so does my body.
I finally feel like I am "getting my life back."
The huge, ugly elephant which has taken up residence in my crystal shop is still there, staring at me.
But for the moment it has stopped shuffling about and if all goes well, if I gather enough luck and patience, I may
be able to airlift the fucker safely out by the end of the year.
A lot of that will depend, as usual, on others and not on me. This is hard for me to manage
since I need control over the issues in my life. Still, one thing this whole experience has taught me
is to be tireless and enduring in my beliefs and motivations. I marvel at far how I have come
and how many disappointments I have weathered...and yet here I am still fighting. And I will continue
to combat until the last person standing is me.
Unfortunately a dear friend of mine is moving to Mantova at the end of July, so the few friendships I do
have here in Milan will suffer yet another casualty. It's not like I'll never see him again, but him being 2 hours
away makes it a bit difficult to have our weekly coffee.
I have been daydreaming lots, as I am apt to do in the summer when I find myself under a tree at the park, relishing
scenes worthy of Country Time Lemonade ads...although knowing me instead of the lemony beverage you'd catch me
sipping Tom Collins. :)

pass the crack pipe, grandpa

Weather here has been insane. There is no other word for it.
This morning it was something like 90 degrees...then about 1pm while I was
teaching in the crummy basement of a large technical firm, it started pouring
buckets. By 1:16 pm the rain had ceased and it was sunny again, the
drops that had stained the glass dried in a matter of minutes leaving
only a dirty web.
For those who weren't told, yesterday was "Crazy Old Men Gone Wild" day. On my way to work an elderly Italian bloke got on and spent the next 10 minutes pretending to be English. "Please sit down," he would say, and "Excuse me, thank you" in his worst fake-o British accent.
Finally a lady called him on it. Fed up, she shifted her enormous body towards him (as only over-60s Italian women know how to do), and with a look of menace said "Listen, why don't you just stop pretending to be English, because you're not fooling anyone and frankly it's getting annoying."
I was laughing on the inside like a wee babe. Until a seat opened up behind me and
the old fart sat down, only to commence singing some annoying little ditty in what I understood to be Neapolitan...over and over and over again for close to thirty bloody minutes. That's what I get for laughing.

The fun doesn't stop there, kids! On my way back from work, another old man (this time of the "Unkempt Conspiracy Theorist" school) spent the better part of 20 minutes shouting about how the "enemies" were going to enslave us, how "they" were controlling us
through our mobile phones, and asserting that basically there was no escape because
"they" were everywhere, above all hiding within the bodies of foreigners. Unbeknowst to them, poor immigrants, I'm sure they thought they were guilty only of coming to this country in search of a better life when indeed they are hosts for Italian bureaucrats!
Now... that the bureaucrats are out to get us...and ME in particular, is true...and I am convinced that if I peeled away the skin of any politician here there would be a snake or V-like lizard beneath...but they are certainly not taking up residence in the shells of poor Sri Lankan or Peruvian people.
Last but not least, always yesterday there was an incident at the school with an elderly couple. They walked in and began causing a ruckus, and then the little old fella punched the student tutor and started banging on the glass windows with his belt while shouting profanities. I think "Loony Radio" must have been set to "Senility" yesterday. And this old guy just became my personal hero.

On another note, I no longer look like death warmed over. I am back to a regular running schedule and am soaking in the sun, though it hasn't exactly been showing itself much here what with the torrential rains and all. Better weather will come. Sometime.

i can see clearly now...

Life has come to a screeching halt. Thankfully.
After months of madness and mayhem, the roller coaster that I dared not call a "life"
has finally slowed down to a blissful speed comparable to "old man walking dog."
Most of last week was spent still feeling bitter and jaded, and as much as I enjoy
being Italy's bureaucracy bitch, I have honestly had enough. The lawsuit is filed,
I will discover my fate shortly, and until then I am putting it out of my mind.
Sure, I still have to swallow back a bit of bile whenever I see the unis about, but what the hell can I do about
any of this? In a word...nothing. I can only sit back and wait, and the last thing I want to do
is waste another month of my life in useless pondering and regrets.
Thanks to Nicoletta, I regained a sense of self on Friday and have since felt worlds better.
I have been running consistently, eating right again, and I no longer feel like curling up into
the fetal position whenever someone mentions the city or my situation.
My health has unfortunately suffered some due to all this stress. I seem to have regressed to childhood since March,
battling ear infections, pink eye, and constant head colds. But I am hoping for a change in both spirit and
mind, and I can't but feel positive about the future. What would feeling negative accomplish at this point?
This said, I know I am a pessimist at heart and that grey days will come again. But I will try my best to
keep the devils at bay.
I have also been less than enthusiastic about work recently, I do admit, but that may also be the summer
coming on and us teachers naturally wanting to "shut off" our brains for 3 months. Though in my
specific line of education the work really never ceases, if we wanted to we could do this all year.
Still, I find myself in the best institute of my career. Nice people, I am both liked and appreciated, and
they pay above standard and on time which for Milano is a luxury. I consider myself lucky.
No other news to report for the moment. I just want to enjoy the sunshine which has finally graced us
with its presence, and get both some serious reading and writing done.